


i'm just a jerk playing with matches

by CuboneGirl13



Series: alight [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Freeverse, POV Second Person, Poetry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-23
Updated: 2014-02-23
Packaged: 2018-01-13 11:43:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1225033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CuboneGirl13/pseuds/CuboneGirl13
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>you've always played with fire<br/>without thinking of the consequences<br/>just said screw it<br/>and ran<br/>and ran<br/>and ran</p>
            </blockquote>





	i'm just a jerk playing with matches

**Author's Note:**

> Good LORD, this is long. XD Took me a while, too, but it's a labor of love.  
> I've always shipped this and had a soft spot for both characters. I think they're a bit undervalued, so this is (the beginning of) my attempt to rectify that.
> 
> Title (sort of ish) from ”Braille” by Regina Spektor.
> 
> Disclaimer: don't own a blasted thing.

you've always played with fire  
without thinking of the consequences  
just said screw it  
and ran  
and ran  
and ran  
.  
you've always had a bit of a crush on her  
the pretty girl  
with long brown hair  
and brightbrightbright blue eyes  
and freckles on her arms  
and fire in her eyes  
if you're the matches  
she's the flint  
.  
you don't get along  
not that well  
'cause you're pompous and aggressive and obnoxious  
and she's sweet and gentle and soft  
she seems to be everything you're not  
and you love her even more for that  
.  
by second year, you realize  
you weren't quite right  
she's not that soft  
not that gentle  
and not that calm  
she's tough  
and frantic  
and _girly_  
and you love her more and more  
.  
third year  
and you make her cry  
because you're abrasive  
and she's softer-hearted than you thought  
and you're sorry  
and you don't know how to say it  
so you leave her be  
and hope for forgiveness  
.  
at the beginning of fourth year  
you make up  
and you've got a tentative friendship  
she seems to like you  
at least a little  
so you ask her to the ball  
and she says yes  
and you have a great time  
but she doesn't  
she cries again  
and it's your fault  
again  
and you don't know what to do  
you try to talk to her  
make her stop  
make her happy  
but she yells  
and kicks  
and slaps  
and you may be in love with her  
.  
fifth year  
and you're all going to hell in a handbasket according to Dumbledore and his golden boy  
and you don't want to believe it  
you **can't** believe it  
even though she does  
and you realize she's not always right  
and you argue  
with her and with Dean and with Parvati and with what feels like the whole school  
and you're starting to think you may be wrong  
and then the Ministry happens and Sirius Black is dead and they were right all along  
and now you just feel like a jerk  
and idiot and a jerk  
and you know for sure  
you're in love with this girl  
.  
with sixth year  
comes her and Ron  
and it feels like your heart is breaking  
but you've no claim on her  
so you've nothing to say  
you're tempted to try and get with Hermione  
mostly to spite him  
but also  
she's a pretty girl  
with long brown hair  
with freckled arms  
and fire in her eyes  
but she's not the same  
and that's when you know  
you've been playing with matches  
and you're getting burnt  
.  
seventh year  
and you've nowhere to run  
'cause everywhere  
and everything  
is just hellacious and horrific and horrendous  
and Harry and Ron and Hermione are all heaven knows where  
and so are all the muggleborns  
and you feel a little lost without Dean there  
but she's right by your side the whole year  
and she's got fire in her eyes  
and her soul  
.  
and then your world crashes and burns  
and she's all you can see  
and  
she's dying  
and everything's crashing to the ground around you  
and she's dying  
but she's still got the fire in her eyes  
and her heart  
and her soul  
.  
it's over  
it's hard to believe  
but it's over  
and she's alive  
and you're alive  
maybe not all of you  
you're both a bit broken  
and burnt  
but you're alive  
and you love her  
.  
they're calling for aurors  
and you're going to do it  
even though you're not quite whole  
not quite well  
and neither is she  
and she's all you can think about  
and she wants to do it  
and you know she can  
because she's tough  
she's fire  
and she's stronger than you ever were  
and because of that  
you love her  
.  
you're playing with fire  
you know that  
but  
you're not running this time


End file.
